Saeng il chuka habnida

Korean Happy birthday! 

We had another amazing Korean cultural experience last week. Our friend Sup invited us to his nephew's first birthday. They really know how to throw a first birthday celebration here. The party was held at a professional event center which focuses mostly on first birthday parties.

A display of professional pictures and a video which looped again and again was placed just outside the door of each little one year old's assigned party room. In the common area there was an amazing buffet for all the guests. The private party rooms were decorated and set up for some traditional activities. We signed in at a digital screen that took a picture of us as we signed our names. It was basically a digital birthday card/guest book that the parents would receive after the party. The food from the buffet was delicious, beautiful and apparently Korean- or at least nothing we've had at parties at home. We sat at long tables eating our food and waiting for the festivities. An unusually tall and quite boisterous Korean was our emcee. As soon as he grabbed the mike the gathering became very Las Vegas like! There was loud music and flashing lights. He told lots of jokes, well he spoke Korean so I assume he was telling jokes because everyone was laughing.


He also dragged Fred up to the front and challenged him to dance Gangnam Style. Fred is a good sport, but he performed his own version of the sprinkler dance instead. Yep it was pretty funny, but I was too stunned to think to grab the camera. Not only did his dancing talent earn him cheers and applause, but he also won a gift of a birthday mug.


Hyeon (Sup's nephew) made a grand appearance mid cheering, "oos" and" ahhs". He was wearing hanbok and riding in a mini Audi remotely controlled by his proud dad. His parents were also dressed in the traditional Korean celebratory hanbok.

One of the  first birthday traditions is called toljabee.  Here is a definition: "In this event, the child is seated before a table on which various items have been placed for the child to pick from. Traditionally, Koreans think that the first or second item picked by the child foretells his or her future. For instance, if the items picked are a book or pencil, then people think the child will be a successful scholar; if rice or money, the child will be wealthy; if thread, the child will have a long life.

The tradition may be slightly modified. At the party we attended the guests had a chance to predict the item the child would select by placing their ticket in one of several goblets, each with an image of one of the items. The child is shown a tray with the items on it. When he chooses one, a ticket is drawn from the corresponding goblet and the guest whose number is drawn receives a gift. Hyeon's parents were pretty excited when he grabbed a 50,000 won bill ($50.00) and began chewing on it!

We asked Sup about the cost of such an event. He said it cost his brother about $1,000 (American). His brother and sister-in-law had saved for nearly the whole year for this celebration. Why? Why would they spend so much money on an event their child will only remember through pictures? To some of us it may seem extravagant. It may seem like the money could be better spent on necessities. As I learned the history upon which this tradition is based, I understood much more.

Here's a brief explanation:  "Long ago in Korea, childhood diseases were common and the survival rate for children was very low. To protect their children, parents refrained from taking the baby outdoors until the 100th day after his or her birth. It is not until baek-il (100 day)that the baby was introduced to neighbors, friends and relatives. One of the baek-il’s  special events is the parents providing rice cakes, called baekseolgi, to at least 100 people. They believe this event helps to protect the child’s life. They also pray for the child’s continued good health. A child’s first birthday party, or tol, is a big celebration."

What would it have been like to fear taking your children out for the first hundred days? To be so unsure of your child's survival that you would not show them to friends and family. Then to celebrate the 100th day only to hope and pray they would survive the first year. We are so blessed today. We assume our children will live to adulthood. We do not expect to lose them in infancy. We show them off as soon as possible. In the unexpected event that a child dies before the age of one, families mourn and grieve together. But it seldom changes the expectation that future babies will survive.

So I say celebrate! Indulge in some extravagance if you want to. We all need to remember the precious gift of life and never take it for granted.